Smoke and Mirrors
by TamaraJagellovsk
Summary: Jack O'Neill is accused of murder, but his team gets him out - with the help of an unexpected ally. M rated slash.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first crossover. While I know my SG-1 quite well, I'm a Mentalist newbie. Please forgive any mistakes. But since this is AU anyway, I can probably get away with most of it. Plus I am screwing with the SG-1 time line (** **"** **Smoke and Mirrors** **"** **is Season 6 while** **"** **Seth** **"** **and** **"** **Bane** **"** **are Season 3** **–** **if you're not familiar with those episodes this fic might not make much sense I'm afraid). No particular time line for Mentalist other than early in the show. Oh and it's my first slash. Beta read by the lovely ebineez01. A pleasure as always.  
**

Federal Prison, Washington

Jack stared at his visitor for several seconds before he pulled himself together. The man turned to the guard and gave him a wide smile. "I'm sure the cuffs and shackles aren't necessary."

"Colonel O'Neill is a dangerous man, sir. I strongly recommend that they stay in place."

He shrugged and turned back to Jack. "I'm Patrick Jane. I'm supposed to find out if you killed the senator."

Jack heaved a sigh. "Here we go again."

"Did you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did you kill Senator Kinsey?"

"No, I didn't."

Jane fixed him with a look and held it for a beat. "You're a hard man to read, Jack."

"Don't call me Jack."

"OK, what do you want me to call you?"

Jack rubbed a hand over his face. "Forget it. Jack is fine."

"OK, Jack, you didn't kill the senator. But you'd be capable of it, right?"

"I assume you know my file."

"Yes, anything that wasn't classified. Actually a surprisingly big part of it was classified."

When Jack didn't say anything Jane went on: "OK, so you used to do special operations, you used to be a sniper, and you used to be good. So assuming that your hand is still steady you _are_ capable. And you didn't like the senator very much."

"He was enough of a weasel for me not to mourn him, but I didn't shoot him."

"You claim you were in Minnesota at the time of the crime."

"Yes."

"Alone."

"That was the point."

"You do realize this looks bad."

"No shit!"

"There's evidence against you."

"So I was told."

"Jack, look at me please."

Jane focused on Jack O'Neill like he had done on many others a million times before. He _was_ a hard man to read. Probably trained to withstand all kinds of interrogation methods. Something about him felt odd. Jane was almost sure he was telling the truth, but he was holding something back. Hiding. Actively hiding something. Most probably nothing to do with the case. Or he was playing him. What a challenge.

~o0o~

"He didn't do it."

"You believe him?"

"Come on, that evidence screams 'orchestrated' right in our faces, doesn't it? A man with his record would make damn sure his face w _asn't_ on any security camera, and no way would he dump the weapon in his own pond – let alone allow himself to be seen doing it. No, something doesn't add up here."

"But as it is, his face _is_ on the security tape, and the witness is positive it was him getting rid of the weapon."

"But why would he do it on his own ground? Why drive all the way to Minnesota? No. He's telling the truth. _He_ believes that he didn't do it."

"What are you saying – that he doesn't remember doing it? You think he was – what, hypnotized? Someone wanted him to get caught?"

Jane made a face. "I don't know. The hypnosis theory would make a lot of sense – if it wasn't a former black ops officer we're talking about. I'm pretty sure he was trained to resist hypnosis. I don't think it would have worked - unless it was done by someone he trusts, or there was something else going on, something weakening his defenses, like a drug for example."

~o0o~

California Bureau of Investigation

"Jane, come here! Quick!"

His team was looking at the TV screen, tuned in to the news as usual.

"What? What is -"

Oh. He recognized Jack O'Neill immediately although he was in uniform now. He was standing next to Senator Kinsey.

"So Kinsey isn't dead?"

"Obviously he isn't. And you were right about O'Neill. They're not telling us much, but it looks like it was some super secret plot to get rid of both of them."

Jane noticed Jack had a look of pure disgust on his face, and when the senator turned to him and extended his hand Jack waited that extra second before he shook it. Jane smiled. Those two definitely had history. He was glad he had been right though. He loved being right, and he usually was, but something about Jack O'Neill not being executed for murder felt good on a more personal level.

~o0o~

Jane's house, California

Jane turned Angela's ring on his finger. He hadn't felt like this for a long time. He knew what he needed to do, what he wanted to do, but he felt guilty. Tears were coming to his eyes. "I know you understand," he whispered as he slipped it off.

~o0o~

Stargate Command, Colorado Springs  


"A cult whose leader is named Seth, just North of Sacramento. The _ATF_ are investigating him now because they've become so heavily armed and fortified. This guy has about fifty followers, who are all apparently ready to die for him. The _CBI_ are investigating him because a deprogrammed ex-member died before he could testify."

Jack's head snapped up. Daniel looked at him with his brows raised. Jack sighed: "Great. What about the FBI?"

"Not as far as I know."

"Not yet. We need to take over before even more civilian agencies are involved."

~o0o~

Outside Seth's compound, California

Teal'c turned to Jack, covertly indicating the man on a cherry picker: "O'Neill, we are being surveilled."

"Yeah, I saw them. It's probably ATF, maybe CBI."

~o0o~

When they returned from their recon on the compound they were confronted by a group of armed men, their weapons aimed at SG-1. Agent Lisbon stepped forward and addressed Jack: "Lower your weapons. Colonel O'Neill – tell your people to stand down."

"And _you_ are? We got bets. I say ATF, they say CBI."

"State Agent Teresa Lisbon, CBI."

"Damn."

They all lowered their weapons.

"Fine, I'll tell you what. The United States Air Force has not been invited to participate in this operation, therefore you're out of your jurisdiction, therefore I'm ordering you all to leave. Or I'll have you arrested."

Jack stepped forward. "Is there a secure phone here, Agent Lisbon?"

"Yes, why?"

"Can we use it to place one call?"

"Sure, why not?"  
"Thank you."

~o0o~

The phone rang and Lisbon answered it.

"Lisbon?"

...  
"Yes, Mr President. Yes, sir, I am."

…

"Well, yes, sir, they are here, sir. But…"

...  
"With respect, sir, the jurisdictional rules in this case are clear, this is a civilian matter…"

She obviously didn't like what the President was saying.

...  
"Are you sure you want to do that, sir? Yes Mr President."

Lisbon went outside to talk to Jack. "Colonel O'Neill? I just got off the phone with the President."

"Of the United States of America? Sweet. How's he doing?"

"He seems to have a thing for you."

"Yeah well, you know."

"In fact he's put you in charge of this operation."

"Excellent."

"You want to tell me why the Air Force cares so much about this cult?"

"I'm sorry, Agent Lisbon. I can't."

~o0o~

"OK everyone listen up, this is where the air force takes over", USAF Colonel Jack O'Neill called as he re-entered the tent with a a few long strides, taking in the scene before him. Far too many civilians from far too many agencies. And a man who hadn't been there before, or else he would have noticed him - surprise evident on his face. Jack took a breath and smiled. "Mr. Jane, nice to see you. I'm sorry to rain on your parade -"

Lisbon cleared her throat. "Actually, colonel, you're raining on _my_ parade."

"Yeah, right. Sorry..."

"The president wants you in charge and that's fine with me, but personally I think Jane could help assessing if Seth is a psychopath who really believes in what he preaches, or a cold blooded egomaniac manipulating his followers."

"We're pretty sure we know the answer to that, ma'am."

"You do?"

"Yeah. We've dealt with - his kind before."

"So you're telling me you don't need us."

"I'd like to meet him", Jane intervened. Obviously he had recovered from the shock.

"What?" Both Lisbon's and Jack's heads turned to Jane. He shrugged.

"Find out if the AF's assessment is correct."

"No."

"Oh come on, Lisbon. It's _our_ case!"

"Not any more."

"What, you're just giving up?"

"Colonel?" Lisbon turned to Jack for help.

"Hm?"

"Could you please tell him that he's not going in there?"

"You're not going in there, Jane."

"Why not? I could -"

Jack just looked at him, and Jane fell silent. "OK OK fine. I'm not going in there."

"Wow, what just happened?" Lisbon raised her eyebrows at Jack. "Can you teach me that?"

"What?"

"How to discipline Patrick Jane with nothing but a _look_?"

"You got trouble with him?"

Lisbon just rolled her eyes.

"Funny, it never works on _my_ resident civilian."

"Speaking of which – where is Jane? _ **"**_

"He left, why?"

"I have a bad feeling. He has a tendency to wander off and get himself in trouble. I better find him, he's probably sulking."

She left the tent, too, and a moment later he heard her call Jane's name. She sounded rattled. When Jack stepped out of the tent he froze. Jane was walking down the road to the entrance, his hands in plain sight. "You stupid son of a bitch", Jack growled and made a dash for him, grabbing him by the back of his vest and literally dragging him back at the same moment that one of the guards fired a round of shots in their direction. The moment Jane was safely behind the lines again Jack forced him back against the side of one of the trucks. "What's fucking wrong with you, Jane? You will follow my orders as long as you're here or you are going to wish you were somewhere else. Am I clear?"

Jane swallowed. "Crystal, colonel."


	2. Chapter 2

Lisbon came to see Jack before she and her team left. "Whatever you said to Jane, it worked. He made a bee line for the car. I wish I knew how to do that."

Jack winced, but after a moment it was gone and he grinned at her. "Decades of dealing with unruly recruits, ma'am. Oh and a few years that _feel_ like decades of dealing with Dr. Jackson."

"That bad?"

"You wanna trade civilians?"

"Uh, no, I think I'm gonna keep mine. Speaking of which, I should probably check on him. Make sure he's still breathing. Good luck with the operation, colonel!"

"Uh, Agent Lisbon?"

She turned back.

"You think you could convince him to come back? We might need him."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. If we go in we'll be wired. He could give us some advice over the radio. I promise I'll return him unharmed."

~o0o~

"How dare you challenge the power that is Seth?"

Jane heard the sound of those advanced electrical weapons again, and then a growl of anger from Seth. After that there was a thud and then nothing. "Jack?", he whispered. "Are you OK? Daniel?"

He didn't get an answer from either one, but all of a sudden Daniel said: "Bomb?", and Jack answered "Bomb."

Jane closed his eyes. "Jack, talk to me. What's going on?"

A few long minutes passed before Jack's voice came over the radio: "We're good. Carter neutralized Seth. We're coming out."

Jane slipped off his headphones and hurried out of the tent. The moment he saw Jack he froze, unsure what to do, then Jack smiled at him and he visibly relaxed. "It's over, Jane. Case closed."

~o0o~

Jack's hotel room, California

Jack was grumpy. He didn't want to admit it because they had successfully neutralized Seth, and his team had been great, but personally he was - grumpy. So he refused to join them for a beer at the hotel bar and went to his room instead. Beer was fine, he just wasn't very interested in having company. OK fine he would have been if it had been the right kind of company. Or maybe not. His jaw set. He tried to wind down, looking out of the window at the stars and letting his thoughts wander... Only he didn't like where they went. He hadn't felt like this in - centuries. He closed his eyes and tried not to think of Patrick Jane. It wasn't a big deal, he tried to convince himself. He was grateful for the guy's help with the Kinsey thing. Case closed. Only it wasn't.

~o0o~

Jane's doorbell rang. It was late, but he sighed and went to open the door.

"Hey."

"Jack O'Neill!"

"Yeah. Sorry for barging in on you like this."

"No, that's fine, come on in!"

They sat down in Jane's living room.

"Look, I figure I owe you an apology. And I never even properly thanked you."

Jane knew he was talking about the Kinsey case. "I'm glad you were cleared."

"So am I. And actually at least some of the credit for that goes to you. I'm sorry I can't tell you the details, but we got the people who were responsible. We might not have had that chance without your assessment. Not to mention it could have cost my sorry ass. So I owe you. Just thought I'd say thank you."

"So much for the gratitude. What was that about an apology?"

"Uh, yeah. I'm sorry about the way I treated you during operation 'Seth'. Agent Lisbon indicated I might have been a little rough."

"She said that?"

Jack grinned. "No. Actually she said she wanted to learn how I did it. Anyway, I might have been a little out of line, and I'm sorry."

"That's OK, Jack. I guess you were right about it." He grinned, too. " A little overly dramatic perhaps, but right. Although -"

"What?"

"If I didn't know you're a highly trained professional -"

"Then what?"

"I'd assume there was something personal going on."

Jack gave him a questioning look, so he went on: "Usually when people get that passionate about their point there's a personal motive."

"How's this for my personal motive: a civilian casualty under my command looks extremely bad on my file."

"How sweet, you're worried about me."

For a fraction of a second Jane could see something he couldn't place, and Jack's voice turned soft: "No way could I have guaranteed your safety, Jane."

"I see."

"I know you were trying to help, and you were probably trying to be brave, but taking unnecessary risks isn't bravery. It's just plain stupid. It jeopardizes the mission, and more often than not it jeopardizes lives."

"OK. I get it. In fact I got it the first time. I'm sorry I made your job harder."

Jack sighed. "I'll live."

They were silent for a moment.

"Jack, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Back when we first met, when I entered the interrogation room, you looked at me as if you'd seen a ghost."

Jack gave a small smile and lowered his eyes. "You reminded me of someone."

Jane waited for Jack to look at him again, and when he did he studied him closely. A smile spread across his face. "Someone you liked. A lot."

Again Jack broke eye contact. "That was a life time ago."

Jane fought the urge to lessen the distance betweenthem. He softly said: "Hey", once again waiting for Jack to focus on him. Jack resisted, his jaw set, his eyes averted. Jane tried again. "Jack, please look at me."

"I can't."

"You're scared I might see something you don't want me to see."

No answer. Jane smiled. Jack's body language was screaming 'conflicting emotions'.

"How about I tell you what I think, and you tell me to get lost if I'm wrong?"

There it was, a tiny smile – and a nod. Jane was almost sure he knew what was going on – but the fact that he wasn't entirely sure made him uncomfortable. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"I think you're attracted to me. Maybe the man I remind you of used to be a lover. But you used to be married and had a son, so I think you left that part of your life so far behind that you don't know how to make a connection. Maybe you don't want to make a connection. Maybe it was too painful, so you chose to forget about him, but then I reminded you of him -"

When Jack finally lifted his head and looked at Jane he couldn't go on. The intensity in Jack's eyes took his breath away. It was all there for him to see – pain, fear, insecurity – despair. Jane had to take a breath and consciously separate himself, create a distance.

"Maybe", Jack said eventually, and it sounded as if it was the only thing he could get out. Jane made a decision. He stood and squatted down close to Jack. Looking up at him he let him see the real Patrick, unmasked and vulnerable.

"Maybe I feel the same, Jack. Maybe all I want right now is to touch you. Maybe I'm too scared to try."

Jack's eyes closed and he swallowed. His eyes still closed he breathed: "I don't know how -"

Jane reached for Jack's hands from his position on the floor, and when Jack allowed it he decided to follow his instincts. He got up and sat next to him on the couch, his body turned towards Jack, still holding on to his hands. Giving them a slight squeeze he said: "Hey", trying to get Jack to look at him, but he gave a slight shake of his head and refused to open his eyes.

"Do you _want_ me to touch you?", Jane tried.

Jack nodded, a movement as small as the shaking of his head had been, and the pain on his face cut right through Jane's heart. He let go of Jack's hands and gently touched his face, brushing his thumbs over Jack's cheekbones. When he opened his eyes and looked straight at him Jane was overrun by the need he saw, and without giving it a single thought he leaned in. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to taste Jack's lips, carefully checking for his reaction, ready to pull away should he sense the slightest resistance. But Jack responded to his kiss as if he had been waiting for it all his life, his hands coming up to frame Jane's face, the tip of his tongue trailing along Jane's willingly parting lips. There was no battle for dominance – Jane simply surrendered, allowing Jack to take control. When they finally broke the kiss Jack pulled Jane into his arms.

"Why is this so difficult for you, Jack?"

Immediately he felt Jack tensing up. Jane pulled away from him and put his hands on Jack's shoulders, gently kneading. "Talk to me."

"The man you reminded me of -"

Jane smiled at him encouragingly.

"Paul. I guess you could say he was my first crush...I was confused and scared, but it turned out he liked me...a lot."

"Did you get together?"

"Yeah, we did. It wasn't the time to actually come out, so we kept it to ourselves, but I was really happy with him. It ended when he started seeing someone else, and of course it hurt like hell, but I still think it was a good thing."

"So how does your family fit in?"

"I met Sara a few years later. By that time I had already found out I was into men _and_ women, and she was great, and I fell for her. Hard. We both wanted children, so for a few years we were the happiest little family..."

"And then you lost your son." Jane's voice was soft, trying to hurt Jack as little as possible, but he needed to know.

"Charlie. Yeah. Sara and I didn't deal with it so well, so soon after he died Sara and I were over."

"Has there been anyone since?"

"No."

"So you haven't been with a man for a very long time."

"No, I haven't. But that's not the main reason I'm being – like this."

He closed his eyes again. Jane thought he looked exhausted. He moved his right hand into Jack's hair, gently massaging his scalp. When Jack moved into his touch he lifted his left hand from Jack's shoulder, too. Jack let out a tiny moan, half suppressed, but it still had an effect on Jane. He let his hands fall to Jack's shoulders. Jack opened his eyes. "I'm sorry, Patrick. I can't do this."

Jane's stomach clenched. Jack got up, gently lifting Jane's hands off his shoulders. "I have to go. I'm sorry. Please don't – it's not your fault. You're amazing, and I owe you. But I can't."

He almost made it to the door before Jane called his name. He froze, eyes closed again, and forced himself to turn back. Jane closed the distance. "Can I at least steal another kiss?"

Jack gave in the moment Jane ended the sentence. They met in a clash of lips and tongue, their hands roaming, their bodies melting into each other. It was Jane who stilled, leaning his forehead against Jack's. "What's wrong, Jack? How can you not want this?"

"Oh I want it, believe me", he breathed, trailing his thumb along Jane's lower lip. "But I can't."

He leaned in for one last kiss, and then he was gone. Jane was left wondering once more what it was that he was missing about Jack O'Neill.


	3. Chapter 3

SGC

"O'Neill?"

"Sir, there's a call for you from Patrick Jane."

Jack briefly closed his eyes. Great. On base. In the middle of an emergency. Teal'c on the run about to turn into a giant bug – not the best time to talk to Jane. And yet he couldn't bring himself to simply ignore the call, so he accepted it with a sigh.

"Hey Jane."

The line was silent for a moment.

"Hey." Another pause. "I'm probably interrupting some matter of national security -"

"Actually, Jane, you are. I'm sorry, this isn't a very good time."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't know how else to reach you."

"Listen, why don't I call you when this is over?"

"OK."

Jack wrote down the number Jane gave him and went back to his job.

~o0o~

"Patrick Jane?"

"Hey."

"Jack!"

"Yeah. I'm sorry it took me so long."

"Actually I was almost sure I'd never hear from you again. I mean, you made it pretty clear that you weren't interested, but I can't stop – God I can't believe how pathetic I'm sounding."

Jack drew a deep breath. "Been thinking about you, too."

"You – really?"

"Yeah. I felt good with you."

"Wait a minute, are you actually talking feelings?"

Jack smiled. "Looks like it."

"OK, so are you saying you _might_ be interested after all?"

"Look, Jane, this is complicated. I really can't do it over the phone, OK?"

"I understand. Can I see you then?"

~o0o~

CBI

"So where are you going, for your holiday I mean?" Van Pelt still couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that Jane was taking some leave. He always worked!

"Some fishing in Minnesota."

"You're lying."

"You're good, how did you know?"

"I just don't think you're the type."

"Intuition. Sweet. Not exactly very professional, but very efficient sometimes."

She thought about that for a moment. Long enough for him to disappear.

"You do realize he didn't give you an answer." Cho fixed her with an almost smile. Huh. True. "Never get distracted in an interrogation, Van Pelt."

~o0o~

Jack's house, Colorado Springs

"So, what's so complicated you couldn't tell me over the phone? You like me – or not?"

"I do. What about you?"

Jane waited for a moment before he said: "You're so spot on my type that it's almost ridiculous."

Jack indicated his typically unruly hair. "What, you're into the gray?"

Jane smiled. "It's more like silver, and I wasn't talking about looks. Though yours are spectacular I have to admit. I was talking about – strong, proud, dangerous. Guys that scare me a little."

"Living on the edge, huh?"

When Jane just kept looking at him he turned serious. "Please don't tell me you're scared of me."

"I was at first. That was the first thing they told me about you – that you were a dangerous man. I knew what you were capable of, so of course I was scared."

"Yet you said you wanted the cuffs to come off."

"I was trying to earn your trust. Plus I wasn't alone with you back then."

"So when I came to see you and we were alone, you _were_ scared?"

"Yes."

"Of what?"

"Of what might happen if I – upset you."

"That's the kind of man you thought I was? That I'd seriously consider doing you bodily harm for making a move on me?"

Jane shrugged. "I couldn't be sure how you'd react."

Jack made sure Jane was looking at him. "Patrick, even if I'd felt offended I would have told you so as politely as possible. I would never have hurt you."

Jane broke eye contact. "Not physically, I know that now. But you still hold the power to hurt me Jack."

Jack gently touched Jane's face, trying to get him to look at him again. When he did, Jack smiled. "Why would I do that?"

"I don't know. You said you couldn't – that you couldn't be with me. If that still stands, it's gonna hurt."

Jack's hand fell away.

"You afraid it might look bad if someone knew?"

"If anyone _knew_ Jane, my career would be over."

"Oh."

"We could never go public as long as I'm in the service. But that's not what I'm concerned about."

Jane reached for Jack's hand and brushed his thumb over the back of it. "What is it then?"

Jack pulled his hand away and tried to ignore the hurt look on Jane's face. "I need a drink. Want one?"

He got up and poured himself a shot of whiskey. Jane shook his head, looking at him from where he was still seated on the couch. Jack downed his drink and refilled his glass. He was stalling, and they both knew it. Jane sat straighter. "Jack, please come back here and talk to me. I swear I'll respect any decision you make, but I need to know."

Jack sat down again. "You read my file. Did you get to the POW part?"

Jane swallowed. "Yes."

"So you're aware that they didn't exactly follow the Geneva Convention."

Jane swallowed again, biting back the bile in his throat. "They tortured you." His voice was hoarse, he was struggling to keep his composure.

"Yes. Well you know there are lots of ways to torture someone."

Jane prayed to a god he didn't believe in, that it wasn't what he thought it was. Apparently Jack just couldn't go on. Jane took his hands. "It's OK, Jack. You don't have to tell me."

"But you said you needed to know."

"I was wrong. I have no right to put you through this. Just relax, let it go. It's OK."

It worked. The tension left Jack's shoulders and face. Jane's voice was low, steady, soothing. His hypnosis voice. Jack's eyes closed. "I know what you're doing, Jane", he said, a slight smile on his face. "It won't work."

"I was afraid it wouldn't."

"What were you planning on doing? Getting into my subconscious and making me tell you?"

"No! Jesus, Jack, that's _not_ what I was going for!"

Jack opened his eyes and looked at Jane. "I know. I'm sorry. Trying to get a rise out of you I guess."

"It did help you to relax though."

"But not because your hypnosis was working." Jack reached out and gently touched Jane's shoulder. "It helped because I trust you. I feel safe with you, and I _want_ you to understand."

Jane kept his expression open, encouraging. He knew all he could do was wait, see if Jack would trust him enough. Jack withdrew from him completely, cutting off their contact, averting his gaze.

"Rape, Patrick. That's the only way I know how to say it. I don't think I can be with a guy ever again without having flash backs of Iraq. I can't give you what you want no matter how much I want it too, I just can't."

Jane's heart broke. His instinct told him to move into Jack, hold him, soothe him, but all of a sudden he was scared again. What if he triggered something Jack couldn't control? He slid off the couch and knelt at Jack's feet. Looking up at him he waited for Jack to meet his eye, patient, passive. When they finally locked eyes Jane breathed: "Tell me what to do."

Jack's eyes closed and his head sank to his chest. "I don't know."

Jane waited a little longer, but when it became obvious that Jack really didn't now what to do he got up and gently pulled Jack up with him. "Let's get you comfortable. Would the bedroom be okay?"

He was still scared, worried it might be the wrong thing to do, but he knew he needed, wanted to do something for Jack. Jack led him to his bedroom and sat down on the bed. Jane instinctively knew Jack had to feel in control, and Jack in control was fine with him. Actually he thought it was pretty hot. He was an AF colonel after all – and Jane liked that air of authority about him. He had never been into uniforms – until he'd seen Jack on the news, looking amazing. He felt himself respond to the memory. He lay down. Looking up at Jack he gave him a small smile."How about _you_ touch _me?_ Touch me any way you want, Jack."

Jack briefly closed his eyes. Too tempting. He looked at the man sprawled on his bed, lean frame, broad shoulders, his collar open and his sleeves rolled up, eyes sparkling with desire. Jane wanted him. Beautiful, brilliant, hot as they come Jane wanted his hands on him.

"OK. Roll over." Jack smiled at the lust spiking in Jane's eyes. "I'm thinking 'massage', Jane. Don't get your hopes up. Or anything else for that matter."

Smiling back at Jack Jane slipped his shirt over his head and obediently rolled onto his stomach. Jack let his hands wander, down Jane's spine and up again. Every now and then a small moan escaped Jane, muffled by the mattress but still gasoline to the fire that had started in Jack's groin the moment Jane had asked for his touch.

"See something you like?", Jane asked, his head turned to the side to be able to look at Jack.

"Oh yeah. You're gorgeous, Jane."

Jane sat up. "How about we see what we can do for _you_?"

Jack's eyes wandered over Jane's bare chest and shoulders, and it added to the throbbing ache in his jeans. Jane's gaze dropped to his crotch. Looking up at his face again he said: "Let's get you out of your shirt."

Jack smiled a little. "Be honest with me, Jane. It's not my shirt you want gone."

Jane blushed. "Am I that transparent?"

Jack's smile got wider. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Damn." After a moment he sobered. "I could _start_ with your shirt."

"OK."

Jane undid the buttons and slid the shirt over Jack's shoulders, running his hands over his chest. He kissed his throat and collar bone, and Jack closed his eyes and exhaled. Working his way down over Jack's stomach Jane paused and looked up at his face to make sure he was OK with this. When he held his gaze Jane reached for Jack's belt, but Jack beat him to it and lay back, pants open. Jane went back to kissing his stomach again. He brushed his lips against Jack's cock through his briefs, and then he softly rubbed his cheek along Jack's length. "Want me to free you?"

Jack breathed a throaty 'yeah', eyes closed, chest heaving.

"OK", Jane smiled against Jack's cock, and the next thing Jack felt was his warm mouth closing around him. Pure bliss...it didn't take Jane much effort to bring him to the edge, and when he took him that extra bit deeper Jack lost it.

When he had his breathing under control again he asked, his eyes still closed: "How turned on are you, exactly?"

"Oh, about – rock hard."

That made him open his eyes. "From sucking me off?"

"Well, yeah."

"See, this is exactly what I was talking about. I got you all worked up and now I'm unable to return the favor."

"That's OK, Jack. I can take care of it myself."

"No it's _not_! That would so be my job."

Jane rose up from the bed. "Just give me a minute."

"Only a minute?" Jack's eyebrows rose.

"Uh, yeah. Don't think it'll be much more than that." He leaned in for a slow kiss. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

"Jane! You're not sneaking away to the bathroom to get yourself off after -"

"Look, I really need a little release here. I told you, it's fine. Not the first time I took things into my own hands, you know?"

Jack couldn't believe he actually had to laugh at that. He took his pants off and got in under the sheets. When Jane was back he joined him, his pants gone, but his boxers still in place, and spooned up against a sated, relaxed Jack. He realized it had been a bad idea the moment Jack's breathing changed.

"Crap, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

He backed off, but Jack reached out behind himself.

"Don't. Stay where you are. Please."

Jane complied, but it was obvious that Jack was uncomfortable, so he placed a small kiss against the back of his neck and said: "Why don't we switch?"

They both turned, Jack reaching out to stroke Jane's side. Jane moved into his touch and into his body and smiled. "Can you hold me, please?"

"Sure, c'mere". Jack's arm came around Jane's waist, his face buried in Jane's neck. "So, were you thinking of me?"

"Nah. I was thinking of Madonna."

Jack chuckled against Jane's neck. It sent shivers down his spine, and he let out a small moan, pushing back against Jack's body. "Of course I was thinking of you."

"What were you thinking?", Jack rasped right into Jane's ear.

"God Jack, don't get me started _again!_ "

"OK, OK. I'll keep my mouth shut."

They lay still, their breathing calm, content to be close.

After a while Jack said: "Will you be able to sleep like this?"

"Uh, I'm not that great at the sleeping thing anyway."

"Why?"

"Let's not talk about it. I mean I know that I owe you after what _you_ told me, but -"

"Hey, this not a competition, OK? You don't wanna talk about it, that's fine."

"I might just get up at some point and move to the couch so I don't keep you from sleeping as well."

"You sure?"

"Yep."

"OK..."


	4. Chapter 4

When Jack woke up in the morning his bed was empty. Looking up, his eyes found Jane leaning against the door frame, shirtless, in his boxers.

"Hey!"

"Hey. You wanna get back in here with me?."

"As you wish."

He moved over to the bed and lay down next to Jack, propped up on his elbow. Jack reached up to brush a strand of hair from from his forehead. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little. The pills are helping. Most times."

"Still don't wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"OK."

He lay back. After a while Jack started drawing lazy circles on the bare skin of his shoulder and chest. "Jane?"

"Hm?"

"I can't stop thinking about...well, you know -"

"What?"

Jack cleared his throat. "You know, what you were thinking."

Jane understood at once but didn't comment. He wanted him to say it, and he felt himself respond already. Jack took a breath. "What you were fantasizing about." He sounded almost shy, and Jane immediately regretted not being very helpful. He turned on his side to look at Jack, a smile on his face. "Back in your bathroom, getting myself off you mean?"

"Yeah", Jack breathed. Jane thought he still looked somewhat unsettled, as if he was afraid of the answer but thrilled to know at the same time. There was nothing dominant about him right now, and Jane's heart went out to him.

"What is this about, Jack?"

"Well, I thought it was about you telling me your secret fantasy."

Jane didn't answer, but the memory of said fantasy got him hard in an instant.

 _I'm standing in Jack's office._

 _He's wearing his full dress blues, hat and shades._

 _I'm naked._

 _He's slowly circling me. Predatory. Dangerous._

 _his eyes roaming my body, hidden by the shades_

 _He tells me to kneel,_

 _to open his belt._

 _tells me very specifically what to do for him_

 _how to please him_

 _Oh God nothing else on earth I want right now but to make him moan._

 _I recall the throaty moans I have just drawn from him in his bed room._

 _He tells me to cross my wrists behind my back ._

 _I'm not allowed to touch him any other way than with my mouth and tongue._

 _I'm so close..._

 _He orders me to bend over his desk,_

 _tells me I'm not allowed to come without his permission._

 _Jack taking me from behind, his cock hitting just the right spot to make me writhe beneath him._

 _the rough fabric of his uniform hurting my bare back_

 _Jack holding me down on his desk with all his strength_

 _I'm pleading for his permission._

 _Denied._

 _And then, finally, he orders me to come on his mark._

 _And I do._

"Jane?"

He swallowed hard, trying to get himself back under control. He certainly didn't trust his voice, so he just looked at Jack. And he could tell that his arousal was obvious in his eyes when Jack let out a small moan.

"God, Jane, that must have been some fantasy", he rasped, his voice betraying his own lust. "I wish you'd tell me..." He moved closer, his hand trailing over Jane's shoulder blade, and kissed him. Jane's eyes closed and he moaned into the kiss, his hand coming up to stroke Jack's side. When they broke the kiss Jack pulled himself together. "Of course I understand if you don't feel like telling me. None of my business actually." There was a brief pause. "I was just wondering if maybe it was...something you'd want me to do, but are too scared to ask. Something you think I...wouldn't want."

Jane broke into a wide smile. "I'm pretty sure you'd have no problem with it, Jack."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "So nothing you think I would be...uncomfortable with?"

Jane sobered. "Jack, seriously, you think I'd get off on something I _know_ you'd be uncomfortable with? That wouldn't be much better than actually forcing you, would it?"

"So you weren't thinking about...me going down on you?"

Jane noticed Jack didn't meet his eyes. This was obviously difficult for him, but still he couldn't help his grin.

 _He tells me to kneel,_

 _tells me what to do for him_

 _how to please him_

"Nope. Definitely not you going down on me."

Jane's light tone seemed to help Jack come to terms with the whole thing _._ He did meet his eyes now. "Does that mean you're not interested – you know, in me going down on you?"

Oh good lord. Jane had a flash of a picture of that, and it was almost too much to take. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "God, Jack, I'd _die_ to feel your mouth around my cock. _You_ going down on a guy must be pure bliss." He took another breath and opened his eyes. "Are you offering?"

Jack smiled a little, but it looked unsure. "I'd like to try", low, still shy. "I'm worried I might not be able to follow through with it, though. I _want_ it, Jane, really! I wanna do this for you. Feel you. Give you that pleasure. And besides -"

"What?"

Jack's jaw set. "Besides I don't want them to win."

Jane had to close his eyes against the rush of emotions washing over him. He understood. He opened his eyes and looked at Jack to let him _see_ that he understood, that he didn't have to spell it out.

"The fact that you're willing to try means the world to me, Jack."

"What if I can't?"

Jane gave him an affectionate smile. "I'd say we cross that bridge when we get to it." The smile got wider. "I can still make another trip to the bathroom if necessary."

That did it. Jack broke into a grin himself. "You know, a guy could get jealous of that room."

Jane chuckled, but then he turned serious and gave Jack a slow, sensual kiss that didn't fail to get a reaction.

"Never get jealous of anything, Jack. No fantasy of mine could ever be as good as your hands on me. Or whatever you decide to give me."

They kissed again, and then it was Jane's turn: "I was thinking, too."

"You were?"

"That massage you gave me -"

"M-hm?"

"That felt great."

"You want another?"

"Uh, yes, I do, but that's not what I'm aiming at."

"So what _are_ you aiming at?"

"I was wondering if you'd let me return the favor. _If_ I swear to keep my hands above your waist." Jane was looking at Jack clearly nervous, his lower lip between his teeth. Jack smiled and sat up, turning his back to Jane, his legs over the edge of the bed. "OK."

Jane knelt behind him and started a tender massage on the back of his neck, gently stroking him. When he felt Jack relax he put a little more strength into it, kneading his shoulders, running his hands down his back along his spine. After a while he placed a kiss against the side of Jack's neck. "Why don't you lay down? Get more comfortable?"

Jack didn't move. Jane wasn't sure if he was still breathing. His voice was soft when he finally turned to look at Jane: "I'm sorry, Patrick. I can't."

Jane tried to mask his disappointment with a smile, but Jack had already seen it. "I'm sorry I'm making this so complicated."

"Jack, please, would you stop apologizing?" 'I'm tired of it.' He didn't say it. He didn't have to. Jack felt frustration rise. Jane wouldn't be willing to put up with this for very much longer, he thought.


	5. Chapter 5

**Trigger warning. This chapter has content that might look like non-consensual, so if you're sensitive to these things please do not read.**

They ate a late breakfast and went for a long walk, had coffee and donuts at a diner and returned in time to watch the day's Simpsons episode.

The next day they tried the massage again. Jack rolled onto his stomach, his bare back exposed. He was restless, but he tried his best to relax and enjoy Jane's hands on his shoulders. It did feel good...he allowed himself to drift off. When he felt Jane's hands move lower he stirred. And then he panicked. He couldn't move, and he was completely naked. When had he lost his pants?

"Jane?"

The hands moved over his cheeks.

"Jane, stop it."

A thumb slid between his cheeks.

"Patrick, please!"

"I'm tired of it, Jack. You want it, and you'll enjoy it. Just shut up and relax."

"No! Patrick, leave me alone."

Jack felt bile rise, and there was sweat on his face. He closed his eyes. Please no...he felt a finger pushing at his entrance. Tears shot to his eyes. He was begging now. "Please Patrick don't. Let me find another way to please you. Whatever you want, just – please don't-"

"- enter you? That's exactly what I'm gonna do, Jack. Not much you can do about it."

The finger slid in. He cramped, and at the same time he felt himself get hard.

"See? You like it. You like being taken. Don't put on such a show. You're enjoying my finger up your ass, and you'll just love my cock."

"No! God, Patrick, please!"

"Jack. Jack! Wake up, look at me. Please, Jack!"

He was panting, sweat and tears on his face, and he was staring at Jane wide eyed. He was dressed, and Jane looked at him with worry. "Calm down, Jack. It was just a dream, OK? Are you OK?"

"No." There was absolutely no intonation in his voice. Flat and strangled. He was completely spent. And he couldn't let Jane touch him.

"Get out."

"What? You sure it's a good idea to be alone in here like this?"

"Get out of my _house_ Jane, please. It's not your fault, I just can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to protect myself. You're not good for me."

Jane swallowed hard. He couldn't believe how much it hurt.

"Are you absolutely sure about it?"

"Yes I am."

"OK."

He got up and left the room, and a few minutes later Jack heard his front door open and close. He hated being this screwed up, this damaged. But banning Jane from his life had been the right thing to do. Painful, but right.

~o0o~

Crime Scene, California

"So what have we got here?"

"Jane! What are you doing here, I thought you were on holiday!" Lisbon was clearly not prepared to see him at the crime scene of her latest case.

"Missed you guys. So who's the victim?"

She took a closer look at him and frowned. "You look like crap. You should be home."

"Doing what? _So_ , what happened here?"

~o0o~

Back at the office Lisbon cornered Jane. "What happened, Jane?"

"Not talking about it."

"What did she do to you?"

"Huh?"

"Oh come on. We all know you had started seeing someone. You were – happy! And now you're back sooner than expected looking like crap. So what went wrong?"

Jane refused to answer her, no matter how many times she tried. He just wouldn't talk about it, pretending there was nothing wrong.

~o0o~

When Jane came home the next day he found Jack O'Neill on his door step. He was happy to see him, but at the same time he felt anger rise. He hesitated for a moment, but then he gestured for Jack to follow him inside. In his living room he confronted him. "What do you want, Jack?"

"I came to apologize. I was an idiot."

"I'm not sure I can take this much longer. You pull me close only to push me away, and it's killing me."

"You're right. You're probably better off without me."

"That's bullshit. I'd be great _with_ you if you actually talked to me."

"Yeah, I heard that one before."

"Well, maybe there's some truth to it then!"

"It was you."

"Excuse me?"

"That nightmare you woke me from. It was a flash back to Iraq, to the stuff they did to me there."

"Oh my God, Jack. I -"

"Only it was _you_ in that dream. It was you doing it to me, Jane. And then I woke up and the man who had saved me from that nightmare and the man who had just raped me were becoming one, and I freaked out. I'm sorry. I know it's not your fault that I'm so thoroughly screwed up, and I wish I could do something to make me... _functional_ again."

"That's about the most cruel thing I ever heard anyone say about themselves."

"Well what would _you_ call it?"

"Sane? Whole? Happy?"

Jack's head fell back. "Well maybe _you_ can do something about it."

"Whatever you want, Jack."

"Really? Whatever I want?"

"Yes."

"OK, so hypnotize me."

"Why would I do that?""

"So you can make me do what you want me to do. Make me accept what you wanna do."

"You can't be serious."

A few minutes later Jane tried again. "It won't work anyway, we tried that before."

"Because I resisted. Now I want you to do it. I won't resist."

"Jack, no way am I gonna hypnotize you for sex!"

"Why not? I could be of use to you."

"And afterward I just snap you out of it until I want you again?"

"Yeah."

"You're nuts, Jack. This discussion is over."

For a while they just sat on the couch, each clinging to their thoughts. When Jane couldn't resist he put his hand on Jack's thigh and gently stroked him. Jack tensed and got up. "Jane, I'm serious. I can't be with a guy."

"You can't _bottom_."

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Well, that leaves another option."

"Yeah, as if you'd let me top!"

Jane looked up at him with a complete lack of understanding. "Why on earth wouldn't I?"

"Oh come on, after everything I put you through. You're gorgeous, Jane, brilliant and beautiful and - sweet."

Jane got up from the couch as well. "Those sound like pretty good reasons in _favor_ of screwing a guy, not against", he said, stepping closer.

"Those are pretty good reasons to _kneel_ before a guy."

"What's _your_ point?"

"My point is that you deserve the whole deal. Me _serving_ you instead of just using you. A fair balance."

"Well I don't know about you, _colonel,_ but _I_ think the 'using me' thing sounded hot as hell."

Jack raised an eyebrow at Jane. "Are you saying my _rank_ is doing something for you?"

"Yes, sir, it is."

"Don't 'sir' me."

"Oh come on, don't tell me all those hot, perfectly trained young soldiers _serving under you_ aren't a turn on."

"Airmen. And no. Never in the context of the job."

"So what about a different context then?"

Jack reached for the back of Jane's neck and pulled him into a kiss. Demanding, not gentle. "Like a certain civilian telling me he's turned on by the idea of following my orders?"

Jane's legs felt unsteady all of a sudden. "For example."

" _That_ might indeed be a turn on."

Jack pulled him flush against his body. Jane's arousal was obvious, his strong reaction still kind of a surprise to Jack. "You really want this? Me dominating you?"

"Yes", Jane looked up at Jack. So much lust, so much devotion. "Yes, please, sir."

That did it. Jack felt himself harden. He pushed Jane back against the living room door to let him feel it, the small, needy moan that escaped Jane turning Jack on even more. He kissed him again before he backed away. "So get on your bed."

Jane moved into his bedroom and onto the bed with his back towards Jack, and Jack sat behind him. Reaching over his shoulders he started to undo the buttons of Jane's shirt, moving the collar a little to place a kiss against the back of his neck. He moved to the side of Jane's neck, reveling in the softness of the skin he found there, tempted to mark it. He reined it in for fear of being discovered, but he made a mental note to leave a mark somewhere else on Jane's body. Jane leaned into his touch, but he pulled away a little to get rid of his shirt. His hands roamed broad shoulders and strong arms, enjoying the feeling of Jane's muscles rolling under his skin as he braced his hands on the bed.

"Lose the pants, Jane", Jack rasped an inch away from his jaw, moving to give him room. When just his boxers were left Jane looked at Jack.

"Lose those, too."

"Yes, sir."

No way would _that_ smirk have been tolerated on a subordinate. On Jane it looked breathtaking _ **.**_ Jack drank him in. Fair skin, smooth chest, almost fully erect from nothing but a few touches. And some kinky talk. Jack's next order didn't even need to be said aloud. He just locked eyes with Jane and held his gaze, just the slightest trace of a half smile on his face. Jane swallowed hard and turned around, moving up on the bed on his hands and knees. What a sight.

"Stay put."

Jack moved closer, his hands roaming the swell of Jane's butt. Crap but that was one hell of a butt...he slid his hand between the cheeks, and instantly Jane moved his hips against his hand. The guy was asking for it. "You want me to use that spectacular ass of yours?"

"Oh God yes!"

A smile spread across Jack's face, a little evil and very much in control. He pressed the tip of one finger against Jane's entrance, rubbing slow circles, and then running the same finger up and down between his cheeks. "God Jack, please."

"Please what?"

"Please take me!"

Jack chuckled. "Patience, Jane. Lube?"

Jane huffed out a small laugh. "Bought some just for you. Top drawer."

Interesting. "So you've been counting on this."

"I've been _hoping_ for it."

The moment Jane felt Jack's now slick hand move back between his cheeks he let out a moan that was part relief and part pleading.

"You want me to open you?"

"Yes!"

"Say it. "

"Yes please. Oh God, please just put _something_ inside me."

Jack gently pushed against Jane's entrance with his fingertip, only to find him ready and relaxed. His finger slid in without resistance. He gently pulled out and pushed back in again. And again. Half a dozen times, and Jane met him thrust for thrust. Jack stilled. He bent down and placed an open mouthed kiss against the swell of Jane's ass, reaching for his belt at the same time. Pants open he breathed: "Relax."

He could feel the tension leave Jane's body. When he entered two fingers Jane briefly tensed up, but after a moment he relaxed again.

"Are you OK?", Jack breathed close to Jane's ear, holding himself above Jane's body with his left hand.

"Oh God yes, Jack. Please – please don't make me wait any longer!"

Jack didn't need another invitation. He pulled his fingers out and entered Jane, carefully, slowly, giving him time to adjust. The throaty sound that emerged from Jane the moment that Jack's balls touched his almost pushed Jack over the edge. This was too good to be true. He grabbed Jane's hips and held him in place, motionless, trying to gather his wits. Jane wrapped his hand around himself.

"Fuck, Jack, finish this!"

Jack couldn't help his chuckle. "A little more respect, please." Jack couldn't remember if he had ever had a grin as huge as this on his face right before he came, but when he did it felt spectacular. He emptied himself inside of Jane, and after a few hard strokes Jane was there, too **.**

 **A/N: I can't access my views stats for some reason, but I know from faves and follows that you folks are reading. Sadly I don't get reviews (ebi, you're the exception from the rule :-)) - possibly because people are a little embarrassed. Maybe you might wanna consider leaving a guest review, because I'd really like to know what you folks think. Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

They tried sharing a bed, and it worked until Jane got restless. Jack put his hand on Jane's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. He woke up from the touch. After a moment he focused on Jack.

"Bad dream", he said, sounding exhausted.

"Was it about the same thing that usually keeps you from sleeping?"

"No, this was different. My wife made a scene, accusing me of cheating on her with you."

"Your _wife_? Something you wanna tell me?"

Jane gave him small smile but didn't comment. Jack thought about it for a moment. "Now that you mention it, I think I remember you wearing a ring when you came to see me in prison."

"Yeah. I used to. I took it off when I realized I – how I feel about you. But in a way I still consider myself a married man."

"Jane, I'm not following you."

"She's dead. But I'm still bonded to her. I guess I'm feeling guilty about – us. You and me."

"Jane, what happened to her?"

"She was killed. I provoked a very dangerous man, in public. He took it out on her."

Jack needed a moment to deal with that. "He murdered the one person you loved the most to punish you for what you'd said about him."

"Actually the two people I loved the most."

Jack closed his eyes.

"Charlotte was seven when he killed her in her sleep. That's what I keep seeing every time I close my eyes. My wife and my little daughter in their own blood, murdered because I had been an arrogant bastard. He left me a note to make sure I understood that I was to blame for their deaths. I got his point."

"That's why you're with the CBI. Did you get him?"

"No. He's still out there. But I will find him."

"And then what?"

"I'll kill him."

"Don't. I know you think it will feel good, feel right, that it will bring you peace. But it won't. Taking a life comes at a price, Jane. I don't want you to pay that price."

"Do you remember your first? The first man you killed?"

"Yes."

Jane thought that was all he would get, but after a moment Jack went on. "It was a sniper hit. There were three of us, but I was the one with a clear line of sight. So I was given the order."

"What did you feel?"

Jack took a breath. "The very first emotion was accomplishment. The target was neutralized. But that only lasted until he hit the ground. Then I was frozen stiff. What if the intel had been wrong? What if we'd had the wrong guy? What if he had been innocent? I ended his life. Another human being."

"Do you ever get used to it?"

"I can only hope with all that is left of my soul that I never will, Patrick."

~o0o~

Jack's cabin, Minnesota

"This is great", Jane smiled and turned his face towards the sun. They were sitting by the pond, Jack pretending to fish, Jane refusing to try, both relaxed and at peace. With closed eyes Jane said: "You still wanna know what I was thinking?"

Jack understood instantly. "Oh yeah", he breathed.

Jane got up and took a step closer to the water. "It started with me going down on you. And you were incredibly dominant."

Jack got up, too. "What, I forced you?"

"No. But you gave me directions."

"Oh. OK... Look, I'm not sure..."

"That's OK, Jack. I guess that's one of the things that are more of a turn on in theory."

"You said that was how it _started_ – so there was more?"

"Uh, yeah. We were in your office, and you wore your dress blues."

"Oh come on, that's such a downer."

"What?!"

"They're uncomfortable, and they make me look ridiculous."

"You really have no idea, do you?"

When Jack shook his head with a shrug Jane broke into a grin.

"They scream power, and authority."

"And that's good?"

Jane just gave him a pointed look.

"OK I get it, you're really into the dominance thing."

Jane was nervous all of a sudden.

"Actually it's more like I'm into the submission thing."

Jack stepped behind him, putting his hands on Jane's shoulders, gently kneading.

"Really?"

Jane's eyes closed. "Really."

Jack stepped closer, clearly entering his personal space. Jane swallowed.

"So what exactly were we doing in my office, beside you giving me head?", Jack rasped, his hands sliding down Jane's back and coming to rest on his hips. Jane's voice was hushed and his knees went weak. "You had me bent over your desk and just - took me. Hard, demanding."

"Ah, now that's something I can relate to... Maybe I would have to punish you for messing up my paperwork."

Jane's knees almost gave way. Jack kissed his neck, and that didn't help. He leaned back a little, and Jack's grip tightened.

"I didn't think of that."

"That's why _I'm_ the one in control, Jane."

"Oh God yes. You definitely were..."

"So there was something else in that fantasy of yours?"

Jane's eyes closed. "You gave me another order."

"I did? I figure there wasn't much you could do."

"Actually you told me what I couldn'tdo."

Now it was Jack who closed his eyes, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"Denial."

"Yeah. You said I wasn't allowed to come without your permission."

"Did you obey?"

"Yes."

"Must have been hard."

Despite the sexual tension between them they chuckled at the pun.

"I obviously gave you permission eventually, didn't I?"

"Actually you didn't. In fact you gave me the _order_ \- to come on your mark."

Jack's head sank to Jane's shoulder. He breathed right into his ear: "Do you think that would work in reality?"

"Oh I'm not sure, but I think you could be quite persuasive when you're in command mode..."

"You feel like acting that out one day?"

"Your superiors wouldn't mind?"

Jack needed a moment to catch up.

"Uh, maybe not in my office. Though I doubt I can ever look at my desk the same way again..."

Jane smiled. "Yes, I would love to act it out, Jack. See if I can do it." His hands moved to cover Jack's where they still lay on his hips. "See if I can submit enough to give you control over something as uncontrollable as an orgasm. Be entirely at your mercy."

"Jane, I swear if you keep this up you'll have me in your ass in a minute."

"Is that a promise?"

"It's a threat", he growled.

Jane pushed back against Jack's body, and the obvious arousal he found turned him on even more. He let his head fall back against Jack's shoulder. Complete trust and surrender. "Take me, Jack, please. Make me submit to you."

"Well, since you ask so nicely..."

Jack stepped back and grabbed the back of Jane's neck, pushing him inside the cabin until his chest hit a wall. Still holding him in place he opened his own pants and told Jane to do the same. When he caught the first glimpse of Jane's naked ass he groaned and grabbed his cheek with his other hand. Jane pushed back into Jack's hand, and he grabbed harder. Pleasure and pain mixed in the moan that escaped Jane, but he didn't avoid Jack's touch.

~o0o~

Jack sank to his knees in front of Jane. He was nervous, and he didn't feel too good, but he tried to blame it on the fact that his joints didn't take the position well. He closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to get his nerves under control. He wanted this, dammit. And Lord knows Jane deserved it probably _more_ than he wanted it. But of course Jane sensed Jack's tension. "Get up", soft, but determined. When Jack didn't comply Jane knelt, too. His hands came to rest on Jack's shoulders, and he closed his eyes and leaned in for a soft kiss. "Why don't we get comfortable", he breathed, a gentle smile on his face.

Jack got up from the floor but didn't look at Jane. "Make it as different from Iraq as possible?"

Jane smiled. "Exactly."

When they were laying side by side on the bed Jane went on: "Remember what I said prior to that massage you gave me?"

"You said I could touch you any way I want."

"Yeah. Why don't you make this as much about yourself as about me. Why don't you try and enjoy it as much as you possibly can."

Jack was silent for a moment, and then he hissed between clenched teeth: "I hate this."

Jane was shocked. "God, Jack, I told you, it's alright! You don't have to -"

"No, I mean I hate _being_ like this. Fragile. Weak. I hate what they did to me, hate them for taking this away from me -"

"Jack, look at me."

"What, you decided to give the hypnosis a try?"

"Look at me. Please!"

When he did Jane flinched at the pain and despair – and the anger he saw. He took a deep breath. "Do you trust me, Jack?"

Jack relaxed visibly. He even smiled a little. "Yes. I do."

"To do what?"

"Excuse me?"

"You trust me to do what? There are different kinds of trust."

"Uh, I guess, I trust you – not to hurt me. Not to -" his voice cracked, "force me."

Jane reached out and gently pulled him into a kiss. "Exactly. Despite the fact that I wouldn't stand a chance if I tried to physically force you into anything – I'd never even try. I – care about you, Jack. I know I said I wanted your mouth on me -"

"You'd die to feel my mouth around your cock, if I recall correctly."

Jane was relieved beyond belief to see that smile on Jack's face. "Semantics", he grinned.

"So you want it. Badly."

"What guy in his right mind wouldn't?"

Jack chuckled and lay back on his back. "You remember I told you about Paul?"

Jane tried not to let his surprise show. "Uh, yeah, of course."

"I was a virgin. He wasn't. And he was gentle, and caring, and we never – I was too scared to actually sleep with him, so all we had were blow jobs, and I used to love it. Both ways, I mean. And all those years later those guards in Iraq turned it into something disgusting. Used it to humiliate me -" His voice trailed off. Jane had to force himself into a professional mind set. He could see Jack slip away, drift into a flash back, and he knew he had to do something. "Jack, listen to me. Listen to my voice. You're safe, you can relax. Breathe. Relax." He was fighting to lead Jack away from the abyss he had almost fallen into, and it worked. Jane couldn't remember ever feeling this relieved before. He was usually proud and satisfied when his methods worked, but this was different. A lot more personal. He gently guided Jack back to the surface and out of his trance. When he was absolutely sure that Jack was back he said: "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this, but I was scared you'd slip into a flash back."

Jack turned towards him and rested his forehead against Jane's. "I was already half way there, Jane. Thank you."

For a few minutes neither of them spoke. It was Jack who finally did: "I wanna try again."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"What happened to 'I'd die to feel -'?"

"Jack. Seriously. You just barely avoided going through something horrible. Maybe you should rest a little, calm down."

"No. I want this back, Jane. They took it, and I want it back. Can you – guide me through it? Give me an anchor, I mean? Talk to me?"

Jane kissed him, deep, passionate, his hands roaming Jack's body. "Of course", he breathed when the kiss ended, panting, smiling. "If you're absolutely sure. And if you promise to stop the moment you're uncomfortable. Don't try to be brave. I need to know that you're enjoying it. OK?"

"OK."

Jack kissed Jane's chest, his mouth wandering lower, inch by inch.

"So you used to like this, huh?"

"Mhm", Jack hummed against Jane's stomach.

"More than being on the receiving end?"

Jack stilled. He had to consider that. "Back then? I guess I did, yeah."

"Paul was one lucky guy."

Jack smiled. "I don't feel like talking about Paul right now, Jane. This is for you. Because you're amazing." He kissed Jane's hip bone. "And sweet." His stomach. "And hot." The other hip bone. "And I'm crazy about you."

Jane's hand moved into Jack's hair, gentle, tender strokes. "Can you look at me for a moment, please?"

Jack lifted his head and met Jane's eyes, waiting. Jane's voice was a mere whisper: "You probably think I'm nuts for saying it, and for saying it _now_ of all times, but I love you. I'm sorry if that's not what you want, but I can't help it. You're -"

Jack just smiled at him and placed a slow, open mouthed kiss against his stomach that made Jane groan in anticipation. It took him all he had to keep his hips still. Jack's lips wandered, and Jane lost the battle. He arched into the touch, reveling in the sensation of Jack's mouth on his skin. "God Jack, so good!" He thought he could feel Jack smile against his body, but the next moment he stopped thinking completely when he felt the tip of Jack's tongue run along his length. Circling his tip, sucking him into his warm mouth. He briefly remembered he was supposed to talk to Jack, but when he felt him hum his pleasure around his cock he decided it wasn't necessary - and he drifted off, losing himself in the bliss that was Jack's ministration. So good. Such pleasure. Such devotion. It didn't take long before he couldn't stand it any more. "Oh God, Jack, I'm so close!" It had been meant as a warning, but Jack just sucked him harder and swallowed his cum when he finally let go – every drop, to the last bit, licking his lips and Jane's tip afterward, and the smile on his face spoke volumes about how much exactly he had enjoyed doing this. Jane just lay on his back, completely spent, fully sated, and tried to recover. Jack's head rested in his lap, his lips brushing against his thigh.

"Come up here, please", Jane breathed as soon as he could. Jack pulled away almost reluctantly. "Good?"

Jane's smile was irresistible. "So much more than just good, Jack!"

Jack pulled him into his arms and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. "And by the way, I love you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

Their next date got canceled when Jack was injured on a mission. Jane didn't take it well when Jack told him he wasn't allowed to come visit. When Jack was finally released from the infirmary Jane flew over only to be confronted with Jack's team mates. He left after it became obvious that they had a perfectly functional routine for those kind of situations. He felt useless, and he was hurt. A few days later he called him. "We need to talk."

"What did I do?"

"Seriously. I was useless in the Seth case."

Jack wasn't sure where that was coming from. "Only because our plan failed."

"Maybe. But that's not the point. I was scared, listening to what was going on, unable to do anything. And recently, when you were injured, I realized that's what you do for a living. I'll never know where you are, or how long you'll be gone, and if something should happen to you – I would never even know."

Jack's voice was soft: "I'm sorry I can't make you 'next of kin', Jane."

"Yeah, who's that by the way?"

"Sara."

"Your ex-wife?"

Jack shrugged. "I never changed it. The handful of people who care if I live or die are all with the AF anyway. Most of them would probably be declared missing in action at the same time I am."

Jane was silent for a while. And then he dropped the bomb: "I think I need some time to think. Find out if I want this."

"This! You mean _us_. In fact you mean me. If you want _me_."

"That's easy. I do. I need to find out if I can do this the way we have to do it."

"I told you from the start. You knew what you were in for."

"Yes you did, and I thought I could handle it. But I love you, and I'm tired of hiding that. I'm tired of the lies, the secrecy."

Jack's gut clenched. "Doesn't sound like you have much thinking to do."

~o0o~

Jack's first attempt at reaching Jane failed when he didn't answer his phone.

On his second try he left a message, not quite sure what to say, but in desperate need to reach out to Jane.

When there was no answering call all day he started to get grumpy. He left an angry message that he regretted the moment he hung up, but he was too proud to call again to leave an apology.

When there was still no sign on the third day Jack got worried and typed a message.

 _At least tell me if you're alive._

His phone pinged three minutes later.

 _Yes._

Great, so Jane wasn't dead, just not talking to him. He felt his anger rise again, only to be replaced by something else after a heartbeat. He remembered that feeling. It had hurt just as much when Sara had left. Paul. Charlie. All the losses he had suffered had felt like this. He kept telling himself that Jane hadn't left him. Not yet. But it hurt anyway. The words of that Phil Collins song came to his mind from nowhere. He hadn't heard it in years.

 _How can I just let you walk away,_ _  
_ _Just let you leave without a trace?_ _  
_ _..._

 _How can you just walk away from me_ _  
_ _When all I can do is watch you leave?_ _  
_ _..._

 _So take a look at me now_ _  
_ _Well there's just an empty space_  
 _And there's nothing left here to remind me_ _  
_ _Just the memory of your face_ _  
_ _Ooh, Take a look at me now_ _  
_ _Well there's just an empty space_ _  
_ _And you coming back to me is against the odds_ _  
_ _And that's what I've got to face,_

 _I wish I could just make you turn around_ _  
_ _Turn around and see me cry_ _  
_ _There's so much I need to say to you_ _  
_ _So many reasons why_ _  
_ _You're the only one who really knew me at all_

 _Take a good look at me now_ _  
_ _'Cause I'll still be standing here_ _  
_ _And you coming back to me is against all odds_ _  
_ _It's the chance I've got to take_ _  
_ _Take a look at me now._

~o0o~

Jack came home from the mountain one day to find Jane leaning against his front door. He looked gorgeous, but tired. And a little unsure.

"How long have you been here?"

Jane gave him a small smile. "A while."

Jack slowly walked up to him, joy, anger, fear racing through his soul. His throat was dry. This was the moment Jane would have to make a decision. Probably he _had_ made a decision and was here to tell him. He hated being this vulnerable, and still he hoped with all his heart that they would be good. When Jane's smile got wider he felt like Cheyenne Mountain had been lifted from his chest. He closed the distance and wrapped his arms around Jane with so much force it had to hurt. But Jane was still smiling when his arms came up, too. "Hey. I'm here. I'm sorry."

They let go and went inside, and the moment they were through the door Jane pulled Jack close again. Jack held tight and buried his face in Jane's neck. "I thought you'd had it with me."

"No. I love you, Jack. I told you, I had to -"

"Think. I know. About that whole under cover number."

"Yeah."

"So?"

"It's still true that I hate that -"

Jack tensed up, but Jane's hands stroking his back helped him relax. A little at least.

" - but it's also true that you told me right from the start - and I guess I'll have to live with it. Because you're amazing, and you're worth it. I don't expect you to give up your career. I'm just – sad. I'm sad we can't be a couple. That I can't touch you. Hell I can't even look at you the way I want to when there are other people present."

They still stood in Jack's hallway, still clinging to each other, their foreheads touching. Jack heaved a sigh. "How close are you with your team?"

Jane pulled back and looked at him speechless for a moment. After he had recovered from the shock he asked: "You wanna tell them?"

"I'm asking. Can I trust them with my career?"

Jane broke into the widest smile Jack had ever seen on him. "I love you", Jane breathed and kissed him, slow, sweet, and soon it turned into relief and passion and lust.

~o0o~

They were lying in Jack's bed, naked and spent. Jack placed a kiss against Jane's shoulder. "I called Sara by the way."

"You did?"

"Yes. I told her there was somebody in my life. She said she was happy for me." He smiled at the memory of that conversation:

" _I assume you changed 'next of kin' then."_

" _Uh, no. It's officially still you, if that's OK with you."_

" _Sure, but -"_

" _Look, I need you to do me a favor."_

" _OK?"_

" _In case I go missing – or get killed – can you call the number I'll give you? Only in case of an emergency?"_

 _Sara sighed. "Things always have to be complicated with you, Jack O'Neill. OK. Give me that mysterious number."_

"So Sara has my number now but no name?"

"I gave her your last name."

"Smart. So your ex-wife thinks you're with a lady called Jane."

"Yep."

"You're nuts – but brilliant. And I'm glad. Thank you Jack." He leaned in for a long kiss. "Uh of course I hope we'll never need that arrangement, but I appreciate it. A lot."

"So you're not running from me again?"

"No."

"And we'll tell our teams."

"Yes."

"OK. Oh And Jane? I've been thinking."

"Hm?"

"How would you like to go on a vacation?"

Now that came as a surprise to Jane. "The two of us?"

"Yeah. Somewhere people know neither you nor me."

"Hmmm...", Jane closed his eyes and smiled. "I'm thinking...Hawaii."

"OK."

Jane's eyebrows shot up. "OK? Just like that?"

"Sure, whatever you want. Book a flight."

"I can't believe how excited I am! It's just a vacation."

"No." Jack framed Jane's face with his hands and studied him. "It's a chance to be 'us'. No case, no mission, just Patrick and Jack." He smiled. "I'm excited, too."

"Really?"

"Hey, I don't like the sneaking around thing any more than you do, Jane. Hawaii sounds great."

"Do you surf?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm from Minnesota!"

"Your point?"

"Hello? Skating? Hockey? Skiing?"

"I get it. But I can show you."

"I guess I'm a little too old to learn how to surf, Jane."

"You're never too old to surf."

"That's California's official slogan or what?"

Jane chuckled. "No, but I want you to have fun."

Jack grinned. "Oh I don't know – watching half naked, wet Jane riding the waves - sure sounds like fun to me!"

"Oh come on. What are you gonna do all day?"

"Breathe, I guess. And think of ways to warm you up when you get out of the water."

~o0o~

Jack's house

Jack was clearly nervous, and he hadn't touched his beer. He cleared his throat and sat down on the armrest of his couch, feeling his team's expectant looks on him. He cleared his throat one more time and drew a deep breath. "Uh, OK, I guess you guys have noticed that I've been spending most of my down time away from the Springs lately..."

"Fishing, sir?"

"No. Well, yes, once, but – never mind."

He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt and avoided looking at his friends.

Daniel grinned. "OK, Jack. Who is she?"

Jack chose to ignore him. "I'm not exactly following AF regulations with this relationship, so I can only hope you guys value my - happiness high enough not to report me. Personally I think that particular rule is wrong."

"So it's someone from the SGC, sir?"

"No. It's a civilian."

Daniel looked confused. "So what's the problem then?"

For a moment it looked as if Jack had stopped breathing. Daniel sighed. "Jack, do we have to surgically remove it from you or are you going to tell us anytime soon?"

"It's Patrick Jane."

Complete silence. Carter was quickest to recover. She smiled at her CO. "Personally, sir, I tend to agree with you concerning that rule. And I can't see how being in love with a guy makes you less of an officer. I'm just glad you're happy."

Jack threw her a grateful look, while Daniel looked surprised. He made a mental note to confront Sam later – in private. Turning to Jack he said: "Hey, whatever floats your boat!"

Jack grinned. After a moment he sobered and turned to Teal'c – worry evident on his face.

"I do not believe any man should have the right to judge another man's feelings. PatrickJane is an honorable man. You chose well, O'Neill."

~o0o~

On their way home Daniel looked at Sam. "Are you're OK with it?"

"The colonel and Jane? Sure, why not?"

"I always thought there was – something – between you guys."

Sam smiled. "No. I'm good. I'm happy he found someone."

"Funny. I could have sworn...so, Patrick Jane, huh?"

"He's an attractive guy, I get what the colonel sees in him."

Daniel grinned. "So you have the same taste in men? I knew there was a connection between you."

Sam swatted his arm, but she was still smiling.

~o0o~

Jack was laying in the warm sand, watching Jane's slender, muscular body rise above the waves, dressed in shorts and a white t-shirt. The way the wet fabric was sticking to his chest caused a delicious pang of desire low down in Jack's belly. He wanted to touch him. Badly. He let out a soft moan and stood, slowly making his way towards the shoreline. He was already knee deep in the water when Jane noticed him. He lay on his board and started paddling towards Jack. They met in waist deep water, and Jane slipped off his board.

"I couldn't wait any longer", Jack breathed and pulled him into a passionate kiss. His hands started roaming Jane's broad shoulders and came to rest on his chest. "You're absolutely irresistible. I've been watching you, thinking about all the things I wanna do to you."

Jane's eyes closed and he smiled. "Such as?"

Jack didn't answer but kissed him again, his mouth wandering over salty skin, lightly scratching Jane's shoulder with his teeth and right afterward sucking the same spot hard enough to leave a mark. Jane let out a whimper and turned into Jack, giving him easier access.

"God I feel like taking you right here", Jack growled.

"I wouldn't mind", Jane breathed, turning around and bracing both hands on his board, pushing back against Jack's body in a desperate try to feel as much of him as possible. Jack's arms came around and rested on the board, too, effectively trapping Jane. "Hotel. Now."

Jane's 'OK' sounded strangled. They barely made it there.

~o0o~

A few days later Jane came out of the water without getting any reaction from Jack. When he carefully came closer it turned out he was sound asleep. Jane had never seen him that relaxed in public before, and it moved him. He had planned on startling Jack, splashing cold water on him or something, but now he couldn't bring himself to do that. Instead he knelt by his side and gently touched his temple. Jack smiled and moved into the touch. Jane's cool hand running down his chest and side felt heavenly against his heated skin, and he simply enjoyed with his eyes still closed. "I could stay like this forever", he murmured. When Jane's mouth followed his hand Jack groaned. "Or maybe not. Wouldn't wanna get arrested."

"It's our last day, Jack."

"Ah. I don't wanna hear it."

"I was thinking we could spend it in our room, with room service, and don't get out of bed at all."

Jack opened his eyes with a wide smile. "I love how your mind works, Jane."

~o0o~

They were waiting for their check in at the airport when someone called Jack's name. He froze. After briefly closing his eyes he turned around to face the man. "Harry. You're hiding in _Hawaii_ of all places?"

Former USAF Colonel Harry Maybourne smiled at Jack. "Not the worst place to hide I guess. Who's your friend?"

Jack didn't even blink as he reached out to Jane and pulled him into his side. "Boyfriend. Just finished our honeymoon."

"Jack! I'm hurt! I'm gone for – what, a few weeks, and already there's another man in your life?"

"Face it, Harry, he's a lot hotter than you. Get lost, will ya?"

Maybourne smiled and turned to leave.

Later in the plane Jane still couldn't believe it. "Can you please explain to me what that was?"

"Strategic decision. Hiding in plain sight. He's never gonna believe I actually told him the truth."

"Why not?"

"Because he's the typical narrow minded military type."

"What, he's air force? Are you nuts?"

Jack chuckled. "He was. And even if he was in contact with anyone who could possible harm me, like I said – no way is he gonna believe in the possibility of -"

" - Colonel Jack O'Neill being gay."

"Right."

"If he does talk, I guess you could deal with it?"

"I think so."

Jane leaned in to whisper into Jack's ear. "Will they ever find the body if you do?"

Jack whispered back. "Ah, probably not. And even if they did, there's that genius cop I'm screwing who's bailed me out of a murder before."

"I'm not a cop and you're not screwing me."

Jack smiled against Jane's neck. "Sure felt like it last time I was inside you."

Jane could barely suppress the moan that threatened to escape him. Jack's smile got wider. "You're such an easy lay, Jane."

"I'm not usually."

"No?"

"No. I just don't have any will of my own when it comes to you."

"You're saying you submissively obey me."

"Yes, sir. Fulfilling your every need."

Boy would this be a long flight...

The End! :-D


	8. Chapter 8

**"Smoke and Mirrors" Special Extended Edition:**

 **Jack and Jane met someone in Hawaii they both instantly liked - kind of a deleted scene. SERIOUSLY M rated. Not really beta'd because ebi is busy playing elsewhere :-D  
**

Jane spent the day out on the ocean, following the waves away from the beach, enjoying the sun on his skin. He started to feel the ache in his muscles, proof of too much time spent indoors. He lay on his board, lazily blinking into the clear sky, when he spotted another surfer. He watched with growing interest. The guy was good. When he came closer it turned out the guy was a girl,and she was really good. And she was quite a sight. Not very tall but with a body to die for, her long blond hair slicked back. She had noticed him, too and made her way towards him. Her skin was tanned, and her bright blue eyes looked almost turquoise. Jane realized he was staring, so he pulled himself together and smiled at her. "You're good."

"You must be, too, if you made it to this spot."

"Not as good as you. I'm a little rusty."

She smiled and leaned on her board to extend her hand to him. "I'm Mia."

He leaned over to shake it. "Patrick."

"Where are you from?"

"California."

"How can you get rusty in California?!"

"I guess I've been working too much. So, where are _you_ from?"

"New South Wales."

"I guess you don't get rusty in Australia."

She smiled at that. "So, Patrick, did you come to Hawaii on your own?"

"No. I'm – with my boyfriend."

"Oh no, that's not fair. They say the good ones are _either_ gay _or_ taken! So where is he?"

"I left him back at the beach, he's not into surfing."

"Not from California then?"

"Minnesota."

"Oh. How did you get him to Hawaii?"

"Irresistible charm?"

"Yeah. I can see that. Can I meet him?"

"Uh, I'm not sure."

"Oh come on, I'm not stealing him away."

"You haven't seen him yet."

"Aha. Young love?"

"Well, yeah, pretty much."

"So why can't I meet him?"

"We're kinda – secret. We came here because at home we can't be – well we can't go public."

"Why not?"

"His – employer doesn't deal with it too well."

"What? Screw him! The employer, that is."

Jane grinned at that. "I'm afraid that's not an option." When she kept looking at him he added: "He's military."

Back at the hotel Jane stepped out of the shower, a towel around his waist and went over to where Jack was waiting for him on the couch. Jack stood and kissed him, hands roaming Jane's bare back and sliding down to grab his ass through the soft fabric of the towel. Jane hummed at the contact and leaned against Jack's body for a moment. Then he pulled away to look at him. "I met someone today, an Australian called Mia."

"Are you cheating on me already?"

"Don't tell me you're the jealous type."

"Do I have reason to be jealous?"

"No. And you're not. The jealous type, I mean."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you have a strong personality – _truly_ dominant, not a control freak. Confident. Aware of your – charisma." He moved closer, brushing his lips against Jack's jaw. "And why on earth would I cheat on _you_?"

Jack turned his head to capture Jane's mouth. It was a sweet, gently kiss, and they drew it out. They were smiling at each other when they finally broke it.

"So, what about that lady you are not cheating on me with?"

"She said she'd like to meet us for dinner."

"Does she – know? About us?"

"Yes."

They agreed to meet Mia at a small restaurant close to the beach where they had eaten a few times before. Jack liked her at once, and Jane realized that she was even more beautiful than he recalled. Her hair fell down her back in soft curls now that it was dry, and the white linen dress she wore made her tanned skin look like cinnamon. She was amazing, and obviously Jack had noticed it, too.

Over dessert she looked at both men in turn, and at Jane's questioning look she said with a small smile: "I just can't figure it out."

Jane was pretty sure what was on her mind: probably she was trying to wrap her head around the roles in their relationship.

Jack was fixing her over the rim of his glass. "What?"

"Which one of you is hotter."

The guys looked at each other, eyebrows raised.

Jane put a hand over his heart. "Mia, I'm hurt. I thought you liked me."

"Yeah, that was before I met Jack here."

Jack grinned. "What, Patrick, jealous?"

"A little?"

Jack leaned in and gave him a small kiss. "No need", he breathed, and those two words said it all. It said 'I'm crazy about you' and 'I want you' and 'She's no threat', and Jane felt a wave of desire wash over him.

"Would you stop that? A girl can get ideas."

Two heads turned to her as one. She was smiling widely. "I'm just saying."

Jack narrowed his eyes. "Saying what?"

Her eyes darted to the dance floor. "Would you like to dance, any one of you?"

Jane got up before Jack could even think about it. Mia beamed at him and got up, too. "I promise I'm not gonna do any harm to him, Jack."

Jack watched Jane holding Mia, both of them softly swaying to the music, smiling, even laughing out a few times. After a while he got up and moved over. They let go of each other and looked at him, both still smiling. He looked from one to the other. "What are you two talking about?"

Mia grinned. "Well, you, as a matter of fact."

"So what's the general opinion?"

Jane rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, you're fishing!"

Jack turned to fully face him. Jane stepped away from Mia and stood close to Jack. "The general opinion is that you're hot -", he put his palm flat on Jack's chest and met his eyes "- and should not be shared."

Jack swallowed at the imagine of both Mia and Jane touching him at the same time. Then what Jane was actually saying sank in and he couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Of course Jane sensed it. He turned to Mia. "I think we need a little time to talk in private."

She smiled and nodded. "Sure thing."

Jane made eye contact with Jack again and led the way, away from the restaurant and towards the beach. When he felt they were far enough away he turned to look at Jack. "You want her."

Jack drew a deep breath and slowly let it out. Framing Jane's face with his hands he breathed: "I'd be lying if I said she wasn't hot. And I'm pretty sure she wants both of us. Which is – hot, too."

Sensing Jane's discomfort he added: "But. Listen to me. Never feel like you don't suffice, Jane. You _are_ enough to me, more than I can ever ask for. And since you're uncomfortable with the whole threesome thing this discussion is over. I love you. You know that, right?"

Jane smiled. "Yes. I do. Now can _you_ listen to _me_ for a moment, please?"

"OK."

"I noticed that she's hot."

Jack's eyebrows hit the sky. "You did?"

"Yes. And I said I wouldn't share you, which I guess means _I_ am the jealous type, but on the other hand - " His eyes dropped and he moved even closer. "- I wouldn't mind – _being_ shared."

Jack made him look up, gentle, but still demanding. His voice was hoarse and low. "What are you saying, Jane?"

"I'm saying, I don't want her to touch you. I don't want your hands on her. But – I'd be happy to try and please both of you." The last part was so low Jack only caught it because they were looking straight at each other.

Back at Jack's and Jane's hotel room they all looked at each other, and it was Mia who took the first step. She stood close to Jane, running her fingertips along as much of his collar bone as she could reach under his open collar while Jack stood back a little.

"You got too much sun today", she stated.

"Yeah, I should have gone back a lot sooner, but there was that gorgeous blonde that kinda distracted me."

"So you're saying that sun burn is my fault?"

"Yes, basically."

"Want me to try and kiss it better?"

"Hmm", Jane closed his eyes and lifted his chin to give her access, his hands coming up to rest on her full hips, pulling her close against his body. Her lips brushed against his heated skin, and for a few moments he simply enjoyed. Then he turned his head, and his mouth found hers in a slow, sensual kiss that sent a rush of desire through Jack's body. He moved close behind Jane and gently touched his lips against his neck where it met his shoulder. When he noticed the shiver running down Jane's spine he put more pressure into the kiss, his lips parted, sucking at the soft skin, leaving a faint but noticeable mark. Jane moaned into Mia's mouth and deepened their kiss, and then he broke away. "Overload", he breathed, a small smile on his face. Jack grinned at Mia over Jane's shoulder. "I guess I'll leave you two to this little game for a while then. Wouldn't wanna break sweet Patrick, would we?"

Jane turned to look at Jack, worried he might be upset. But he was grinning widely.

"Don't worry. I'll sit back and enjoy the show."

He sat down on the couch, Mia making eye contact with him. "You sure?"

"Oh yeah", Jack said, biting his lip and leaning back. "Oh wait, can I borrow him for a moment?"

"Sure", Mia smiled and put a little more distance between her and Jane.

"Come here", Jack said. It was gentle, but Jane took it as the order it was and got up. Kneeling down he looked up at Jack. Mia watched, mesmerized, while Jack leaned in to whisper: "You willing to take orders from me while we have company?"

Jane's physical reaction made a spoken answer redundant, but Jack needed to hear him say it anyway. He softly smiled at the man at his feet. "Say it. Please."

Jane swallowed once and said, low but loud enough for Mia to catch it: "Yes, sir."

Her eyes went wide. "That's how you guys play this?"

Jack looked at her over Jane's head. "Downer?"

The smile spreading on her face screamed 'No', so Jack turned his attention back to Jane. "OK, standing order: do your very best to please the lady. Put as much effort in it as you'd do for me. Understood?"

Jane swallowed again. "Yes, sir."

"Good boy. Now go play."

Jane hesitated. Jack's eyebrows rose. "What?"

"I'd like to kiss you." Need, lust, want, reined in by his submissive mindset, but obvious. "Please", he added, and it meant the end of Jack's self control. He reached out both hands and drew Jane into a passionate kiss, giving as much as he was taking, wondering how long he would be able to keep a hold on himself while watching Jane with Mia. When they broke the kiss and Jack's gaze went to her she had her bottom lip sucked between her teeth and her face was flushed. "The lady is waiting. So am I", Jack rasped into Jane's ear and leaned back again. Jane parted from Jack, lingering, almost reluctantly. By the time he made it back to the bed, back to Mia, there was no hesitation in the way he moved. They kissed, slow, sweet, their eyes closed, exploring. Mia ran her palms over Jane's chest, enjoying soft skin over hard muscle. She followed her hands with her eyes. "I've been wanting to do this since I saw you out on the ocean", she whispered. "You were such a sight." He closed his eyes with a smile.

"See something else that you like?"

Jack chuckled softly, clearly enjoying the show. Mia smiled at him, her hands still roaming his lover's body. She could tell Jack was turned on by the sight. He didn't move, his arms spread wide on the back of the couch, making a point of not touching himself although the bulge in his jeans indicated the need for that might become urgent very soon. What a sight. She suggested: "Maybe you should take care of your man, Patrick."

Jane looked at Jack, but he shook his head. "You stay right where you are. You can keep him for a little longer, Mia. Get him out of his pants. I wanna see all of him."

Mia was all too happy to comply, and a moment later Jane was rid of not only his pants but his boxers, too. He undressed her, too, covering her skin in kisses. Jack swallowed hard. "Such beauty. Both of you."

Mia looked at Jack over Jane's shoulder. His expression was hard to read, but he smiled at her when she met his eye. He let his gaze wander over their naked bodies, clearly enjoying the view. It took him by surprise when Jane turned to him with an almost shy smile. "Jack, come here, please." His eyes were soft. He was pleading, almost begging. The longing in his eyes made Jack's cock twitch. Jane wanted him, needed him, and he was more than happy to comply. He moved over and sat down on the bed, giving Mia a quick smile and then focusing entirely on Jane. He was looking straight at Jack, love, lust and something else evident on his face. Mischief?

"I think I changed my mind", he said, low, but loud enough for Mia to catch it, too.

"About?"

"Not wanting your hands on Mia."

He turned to the woman in question. "Or yours on Jack."

Mia pulled Jane into a passionate kiss and murmured against his mouth: "You wanna see Jack and me together."

"Yeah", he breathed. "I do."

Mia looked at Jack with a cheeky smile. "Interested?"

"Oh yeah", Jack rasped, briefly making eye contact with Jane who moved a little on the bed to make room for Jack. Mia brushed her fingertips against Jack's jaw. "Why don't you get back on the couch and get comfortable? You were looking just great sitting there..."

When he did she followed him, straddling him, rocking her hips against his arousal. He had his arms on the couch again, but it took him all he had to keep them there.

"You are severely overdressed, Jack", Mia said, the same cheeky smile still on her beautiful face.

She reached out to undo the top button of his shirt. While she kept undressing Jack, Jane got up from the bed and behind the couch. His hands went to Jack's shoulders, firmly massaging, and then he moved closer until his mouth was an inch away from the back of Jack's neck. Jack felt his warm breath on his skin and closed his eyes in anticipation, but the touch never came. He hardly suppressed a needy little moan when Jane pulled away. Mia looked up from where her hands lay on Jack's bare chest. "You're evil", she said with a grin that was evil itself, looking straight at Jane. And then they leaned in for a kiss over Jack's shoulder, and Jack lost the battle. His groan sounded strangled, equal parts lust and frustration. They both chuckled at his misery, and then they took mercy on him. Jane finally did kiss the back of his neck where tanned skin met neatly shaved silver hair. He was a little obsessed with that particular spot, probably because of the contrast between soft skin and standard regulation haircut, strong reminder of Jack being a military man. Jack had laughed at him when he'd first admitted that obsession, but then it turned out Jack really, really liked being touched there. Jane lingered at the spot for a moment, long enough for Jack to relax into the touch, and then his lips moved to the side of his neck and then to his jaw, while Mia ran her hands down his chest and around his sides, placing open mouthed kisses against the other side of his neck and jaw. Jack began to understand what Jane had been talking about. Sensation overload. But he refused to do anything about it, reveling in the wave of pleasure those mouths and hands on his body caused in him.

Mia shifted in his lap, and then she slid to the floor between his thighs, deliberately pressing her body against him all the way down. The moment she came to rest at his feet she opened her mouth and sucked at the tip of his cock through his jeans.

"God, Mia, go easy on me!"

She grinned up at him. "Permission to take your pants off, _sir_ ", she purred, and for a moment Jack thought he'd come right there in his jeans. He pulled himself together and swatted her hand away from his fly, opening it himself. The lessening pressure was a relief, but that didn't last long as Mia's lips closed around him as best she could with his briefs still in place. "Fuck, Mia, I told you. Give me a break here."

She chuckled and let him get up so he could lose his jeans and briefs. When he sat down again she got up from the floor and sat with him, reaching out for Jane to join them and pulling him down on the now very crowded couch. He came to sit between them, facing Mia, with Jack very close behind him. Mia's eyes darted from one to the other. "You know, I still can't decide which one of you turns me on more. I really, really want the both of you..."

"Well I vaguely recall someone saying he wanted to be shared", Jack rasped against Jane's ear from behind. Jane's eyes fell closed and his head dropped back against Jack's shoulder, a shudder running through his body. The moan that escaped him spoke volumes about how ready he was, how much in need. Jack grinned, amused that he could draw so strong a reaction from his lover with nothing but words. He decided to push him a little further. Looking straight at Mia over Jane's shoulder he went on: "As in 'please the both of us at the same time'." It worked again. Glancing down the front of Jane's body Jack noticed he was rock hard. He raised his eyes to Mia's face again. "What do you say, wanna share sweet Patrick?"

Mia just nodded, holding Jack's gaze. He leaned in again. "So, Patrick, I'm taking you up on that suggestion. I'm guessing the lady would like that skilled tongue of yours between her thighs, wouldn't you, Mia?"

"Definite yes, Jack", she said with a smile, stroking Jane's face. She got up and moved back until her legs hit the edge of the bed. She sat down, thighs spread, hands braced behind her. Jane slightly turned his head, trying to get Jack's permission to move away from him. He made it an order instead. "Get on your knees."

A moment later Jack looked down on the man he loved giving head to a gorgeous woman, on his knees, fully naked, and he thought he'd lose it right there. Mia had closed her eyes and leaned back a little, still half sitting though. Her face showed the bliss that Patrick Jane's mouth could give, the bliss Jack knew so well and could never get enough of. He moved closer, kneeling behind Jane, his hands on Jane's hips. "Listen to me, Jane", he whispered, leaning heavily on his body, this time for Jane and only Jane to hear, "I'm gonna fuck your needy little ass, and you won't miss a beat eating that pussy while I do so. I don't want any complaints from the lady, understood?"

Jane let out a strangled groan but didn't stop. Jack smiled against Jane's neck. "You want that? Me feeding your ass while she's feeding your mouth?"

"Yes", Jane moaned against Mia's juice covered folds. She lay back on the bed and braced her feet flat on the bed, opening wider, showing Jane where she wanted him. Jack thought they both looked gorgeous. Mia's flushed face, lips parted in an almost constant moan, and Jane's perfect body between them, his skilled mouth devotedly giving pleasure, moaning into Mia with growing lust.

Jack's right hand moved over Jane's cheek, softly stroking him, and then, out of the blue, he slapped him. Not very hard, but enough to make Jane gasp. Jack gripped him. Hard this time. "What did I say about missing a beat?"

"I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's not me you have to apologize to."

Jane looked up at Mia. She smiled and reached out her hand to his face, stroking his lower lip with her thumb. He sucked it into his mouth. She allowed it for a moment and then pulled her had away, laying back on the bed again. Jane went back to his ministrations, and the moan he drew from her fueled Jack's arousal even further. He reached for the bedside table getting some lube, and then his hand was back on Jane's ass, warm and strong and slick. His thumb slid between Jane's cheeks, finding his hole and pushing until he felt Jane's muscles relax. Just teasing with the tip of his thumb he reached for his own cock with his left hand. "You wanna be shared between Mia and me?"

"Yeah."

"Serve both her pussy and my cock?"

"Oh God, yes, Jack, please!"

"You ready for me?"

"Yes!" Jane's voice was all plea and frustration, but Jack was beyond amusement. He placed himself against Jane's hole, both hands going back to his hips. He pushed, not too gently, knowing Jane's body well enough by now to know how fast he could go. Jane made a sound that was half shock and half plea and pushed back, taking Jack even deeper. Jack looked up from where his cock was disappearing between Jane's perfect cheeks to find Mia looking straight at him. Jane was trying his very best to keep licking her, but Jack fucking his ass at the same time was too much to take, so he buried his face in her lap and held still for Jack. He thrust into Jane, firmly holding him in place, and he wasn't willing to give him even a moment's break. Jane wanted, needed to be used and he wouldn't go easy on him. So when he noticed Jane's forehead was rested against Mia's stomach Jack hissed: "Don't you dare stop doing your duty, you hear me?"

Jane groaned, his whole body bucking against Jack's.

"Here's another standing order for you - ladies first. If Mia doesn't come at least once before I do you're in deep shit, understood?"

"Yes, sir."

He started licking again, sucking her folds between his lips, brushing his tongue flat against her clit. Jack straightened to look at Mia. "You even remotely close?"

"Oh yeah", she moaned. "He's so good with his mouth..."

"I know", Jack groaned, and a moment later Mia arched her back and came, her hips bucking against Jane's mouth.

Jack stilled and leaned in. He caressed Jane's neck, placing a kiss right behind his ear. "Good boy...I'm proud of you. Maybe I should share you more often."

Jane pushed back against Jack's body, urging him to start moving again, and then he wrapped his hand around his aching cock. Immediately Jack pulled out. Jane felt incredibly empty, like he was being punished. A moment later Jack's growl confirmed that feeling: "Don't you *dare* touch yourself without my permission."

"Oh God Jack, please!"

Good Lord but he was beautiful when he was begging... Mia looked up at Jack with a half smile. "You're cruel, Jack."

"I'm just taking care of your needs."

Looking straight at her he gripped Jane's ass and rubbed his thumbs between his cheeks. Eyes still glued to Mia's he went on, teasing Jane's hole with every half sentence: "Once you're ... fully satisfied ... and I am as well ... we might ... feel like allowing him ... release."

The last word was punctuated by a hard smack on the junction of Jane's thigh and ass. His whole body tensed and he let out a whimper that cut right through Jack's soul. He really couldn't keep this little game up much longer, so he made a decision. His hands came to rest on Jane's hips and he said: "Looks like we have a perfectly good erection here being entirely wasted at the moment. You feel like making use of it, Mia?"

Jane turned as much as he could in Jack's grip, eyes pleading, trying to figure out if he was playing him. Jack started stroking Jane's hipbones with his thumbs and placed a gentle kiss against the swell of his ass, taking off the pressure that had been building. Jane exhaled and closed his eyes, patiently waiting for direction now.

"Go bury yourself in her", Jack breathed. "Let go."

"Yes, sir. What about you?"

"You want me back inside you?"

There was so much Jane wanted to say to that, but all he managed was a strangled 'Yes'.

"OK. Move."

Jane obediently moved closer to Mia. She was waiting for him, legs parted, eyes wide, her fingertips gently stroking her breast. Jane settled between her thighs. The moment he slid into her wet warmth he cried out in relief.

"Not yet", Jack told him, gentle, but an order nonetheless. Jane stilled.

"Wait for me."

Jack guided his cock against Jane's hole again, the sigh he let out as he was entered again almost enough to send Jack over the edge. "You're mine, Patrick", he managed before he picked up a fast pace that quickly got out of control. Jack's thrusts were pushing Jane deep into Mia, their moans mingling, and all three of them came within a few seconds of each other, riding out their climaxes until Jack collapsed on top of them. He allowed himself a moment of sweet bliss before he rolled off. Jane instantly reached out for him. Jack pulled him close and felt Mia's hands gently roam both their bodies until all the ragged breathing started to calm down.


End file.
